Hi there, I see your excitement as you find out you are pregnant. I see it progress as you register for baby items, as you sew clothes and bedding, as you go to baby showers, as you feel the first kicks. I see your confusion as you try and decide how many diapers to buy, what bottles to buy, how many clothes she will need. But I also see your fear. The fear that says am I really ready for this? What if I should have waited longer. Enjoyed my time with Loren more. You wonder what it is going to be like. They say having kids is hard, but it is always followed by it is so worth it. You wonder how that can be because it is never really put into words for you.
They are right, it is hard, but it is worth it. Don’t be scared you can handle this. At first you will think you can’t, but you really can. You will feel overwhelmed because you have no clue what you are doing. No one does, just remember that. Don’t be afraid to try different things. You will read books and get lots of advice. But remember you are the mom and you need to mesh all of that into what works for you. Everyone is different and every child is different. Just because you may do something different than someone else doesn’t make you a bad mom or them a perfect mom. Don’t let yourself think you are a bad mom. You are doing the best you can and you are the only mom Kina knows so she thinks you are awesome.
Please listen to your husband when he tells you things will get better. Having a fussy newborn is a lot of work and it may seem like it will never end but it will. Just take one day at a time and just go with it. Your job is to take care of that little girl. Everything else can wait. I know you will hear that and it will go in one ear and out the other, but please let it sink in. I promise you that the house will not disintegrate in front of your eyes since it is not being cleaned. You will be back at your blog and Etsy shop when you are ready. Don’t push it before it’s to early just because you saw another blogger/Etsy shop owner doing it right away. Like I said everyone is different and every child is different, there is no room for comparison. One day she will be taking naps in her crib and hanging out content by herself and you will wonder what should I do with all my newfound time!?! But until then it is okay to get nothing done except take care of that baby. Don’t let guilt tell you different.
You will wonder what this “it’s so worth it” business is all about. But one day you will get it. It will happen. She will grip onto your hand and look at you with big eyes and your heart will completely melt. You will not know how your heart can possibly hold so much love for someone. You will be obsessed with taking pictures and videos. You will miss her when you are away from her. There will be good days and there will be bad days. There will be days when you feel like you don’t know what you should do. What choice you should make. What you should you do for naps, what should you do for feedings, which wipes and diapers to buy. Just know that whatever choice you make will be okay because the most important thing is to teach that little one about Jesus. Don’t feel guilty about the choices you make just because another mom does something different. You have to do what is right for you and your family, not someone else’s. There is going to be so much advice thrown at you from all over. Some places say to do this, other places say to do that, this mom did this, on and on. It can feel very confusing. Don’t let it get to you. Follow your gut, you have motherly instincts, I promise. At the end of the day all that is really important is that you did your best, leave God the rest.
Let yourself put your worries aside, you are about to be blessed incredibly.