Can we please just take a moment and raise our hands if we are people pleasers? How about overcommitted, overwhelmed, tired, frazzled messes?? Are you raising your hand with me?? If so this book is for you. I struggle with being a major people pleaser. I have learned to say no better, but just because I say no to something, doesn’t mean that I forget about it. You see, I say no and then I obsess about what people may be thinking of me. For example, I wonder if they think I am a horrible person for saying no. Maybe they think I am not taking my turn. Maybe they think my personality is flawed because this particular opportunity doesn’t fit in my life right at this moment. After I obsess about what the other person may think of me, I begin to compare myself to them, and anyone that has two legs and a heart for that matter. This person travels a lot, that person hosts a lot, that person does a lot for the church, THAT person does ALL of that! While I am over here just keeping my kid alive, something must be wrong with me. After awhile my brain becomes cluttered with lies and anxiety and I don’t have room to hear God whispering to me what my best yes is. I become frantic, tired, and discouraged. I say yes to the wrong things because I am having a hard time hearing my best yes.
Maybe you can relate. The best yes is a perfect antidote against the lies created by a frantic striving to please everyone and do everything attitude. Lysa TerKeurst beautifully writes on how to participate in what God is calling us to do. Through genuine stories and humor, Lysa takes us by the hand and shows us how to get rid of the “disease to please” and start answering the call to participate in our “best yes”.
A little bit about Lysa. Lysa is a New York times best selling author and the President of Proverbs 31 ministry. She also happens to be on of my favorite authors. When I read her Proverb’s 31 devotions and any of her books, I feel like I can relate to her. She has a friendly, I am totally with you, style of writing. She never makes you feel bad about what you are doing, rather she encourages you and shares real life stories from her own life that will make you laugh out loud or at other times shed a few tears. Even thought she is very successful she is real and down to earth sharing with her readers, that she too struggles.
The Best Yes covers these main principles:
-How to cure the disease to please.
-Escape the guilt of disappointing others through a small no.
-Overcome the agony of hard decisions by embracing a wisdom based decision making process
-Rise above endless demands to find your best yes.
The book covers everything from seeking wisdom, making decisions, considering trading time for something, the worry of disappointing someone by a no, the panic that keeps you from your best yes, and more. It pretty much breaks down everything that goes into making a decision and going with what you can handle, vs being so consumed by demands of life you can’t take it.
I love how she goes in depth about making decisions. I know I can get stalled by worrying I will make the wrong one. She lays out how to seek wisdom, leading to wise decisions. I love how she also tackles worrying about what other people think about my decision. She turns the no’s into opportunities. She tells a story of how she had to say no to a good thing, and in the end it was actually a blessing as God provided something better. I love that she turns no into faith builders. She makes the point, that if we constantly say yes because we feel bad saying no, it hinders God’s power to work through someone else.
She also dives into how business can cloud our minds leading to missed opportunities. When we become so busy, it is easy to miss God speaking. By cramming every opportunity into our life, we may miss the best yes God has for us. This quote from the book is really good: “Unbroken companionship helps us hear His instruction so then we can see His direction. We must not seek direction before obeying His instruction.”
I think the main reason why I love Lysa TerKeurst is because I feel like she is reaching right out to me and speaking to me. She relates so well to her readers. I know, for me personally, she makes me laugh, and then want to cry later because I can relate so much to what she is saying.
This book breathed grace, encouragement, and instruction into me. I found myself highlighting many times. I gleaned so much wisdom from the book as she applied God’s word to best yes principles. I know I will be re-reading this one!