Being a mom is hard work people. Someday’s I am like wow, this is the best thing ever and some days I am like why am I a stay at home mom again?! It’s so easy for my emotions to fluctuate from one end of the spectrum to the other in a matter of a few hours. My sweet toddler says something like “love you Jesus” and my heart just melts. The next minute she’s refusing to nap and has poop in her underwear. Then I want to pull my hair out.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. The longer I am a mom, the more I am realizing just how much I need close communion with my Savior. When I try to do it myself, I always end up exploding and yelling at her in the moments of trial. That never fixes the problem and it leaves me feeling guilty as charged.
I have always prayed and read my bible. I have always believed in Jesus. Yet the longer I walk with Him, the more I realize how much I need Him. Not only in a salvation kind of way, but in a best friend kind of way. Isn’t it easy to get caught up in Jesus is our Savior? It is true and cannot be dismissed, yet when I only think of Him as my Savior, it’s easy for me to forget about my relationship with him. It’s easy for me to seek Him for answers to my problems. It’s easy for me to check off my daily devotions and prayers as a must do rather than a want to do. When I am in that mindset, do I believe that is what I am doing? No, but it doesn’t make it any less true. When I unconsciously believe He is only my Savior and not my best friend, I treat Him differently.
I remember after we had K, being so full of raging hormones, I was sleep deprived, and just downright annoyed at the whole motherhood thing. I was in my “Jesus is only my Savior” mindset and wanted Him to fix the situation. I remember crying out to Him. “Please help me. Let me get more sleep. Please make my baby stop crying. Please make her nurse! WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME? WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME?!”
I was wrapped up in the thought He needed to fix my problems because I couldn’t handle them. I didn’t think to ask Him to give me strength. I just grew angry at Him for not helping me. Truth be told, I didn’t want strength, I just wanted Him to make it all magically better. It was a miserable 4 months, and I am still pretty scarred from it. But I learned from it too.
Through the now two years of motherhood, I have learned that Jesus is not only my Savior, He is my best friend. I wouldn’t dare yell at my best friend and tell her to fix my situation. I wouldn’t blame her for my problems. I would look to her for comfort. For understanding. For a shoulder to cry on. Jesus wants me to come to Him like that too. To not come to Him for answers and magic solutions. He wants to comfort me and give me something no earthly friend will ever give me. Peace. Supernatural Strength. Grace. A joy amidst the suffering. To heal my hurting heart. You see our earthly friends can give us some of these temporarily, but when we ask our heavenly friend, he will continue to supply them to us. You see, He wants to give us all those things even if they don’t FIX our problems. Because with all these things, we can handle the problems we are faced with.
If He fixed all our problems we would never find a strength found in heartache. We would never become better people. We would never experience a best friend relationship with Him. We would miss out on so much if we didn’t face the hard things.
I now strive really hard to seek Him not only to check it off my list of Christianly things to do, but to be filled by Him. It’s a daily battle to look to Jesus to be my friend and not my fixer. Here are a few things that help me to stay in this mindset:
–I take time to memorize a bible verse daily. (I set an alarm on my phone for once a day so I don’t forget.) By filling my head with bible verses daily, it fills my head with truth. My mind can so easily run to lies, I need to combat them with the truth.
–I pray knowing my prayer may not be answered with a yes. I used to get frustrated because I believed without a doubt Jesus could fix any and all of my problems. It is the plain and simple truth. Why didn’t he though? Because He doesn’t have to. He knows my needs far greater than I do. Now when I ask, I know it may not be answered, but he will give me strength and grace to make it through the moment.
Throughout the day I:
-Pray for wisdom. Wisdom to make the right decisions. I am a perfectionist so when I make the wrong decision, I beat myself up. By praying for wisdom, I know after the decision is made, I can rest on the fact that God was with me. It helps me to accept grace when decisions weren’t always the best decisions. I know when I look back at situations I made the best decision I could because I was leaning on God’s wisdom.
-Pray for strength. Strength to keep going when I want to give up. When I rely on myself, it never ends well. His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
-Pray for patience. I need patience when the problem is not fixed. And patience to keep me from exploding on someone. I need patience because man can a toddler try a person! I still do explode on her or my husband, don’t we all?! But I find myself going much longer before I hit my breaking point. I also instantly realize my error and apologize.
How do you live like Jesus is not only your Savior but best friend? Leave a comment and add to this list, we can learn from each other!